Cervical Spine Infiltration at a French Clinic

The nurse asked me to take off my pants.

Shocked, I said, “What? I’m having the infiltration in my neck, not in my arse!”

She giggled and checked her papers, realised the mistake, and told me to take off only my T-shirt and

shoes before waiting in my cabin.

Because the cabin walls were mirrored, I checked out my chest’s disappearing tan and tutted over my

droopy stomach.

Mid-tut, a fully gowned male nurse burst into the cabin and took me to the CT scanner room, where

they asked me to lie on my back with my head in a rigid, grooved foam support.

They were all in scrubs and masks this time. They asked if I’d had the procedure before; I said twice,

but in my back.

They told me to put my hands under my bum and keep absolutely still, even if they spoke to me or if I

felt anything. I managed a muffled “yes,” trying not to move my jaw.

The scanner pulled me in.

After a few minutes, my usual ski-tanned neurologist appeared. A nurse scrubbed my neck with

Betadine several times and tried to stick a paper towel to it, but it wouldn’t stay because of the beard.

I’d tried trimming it that morning, but the shaver was dead. Typical.

The doctor swabbed my neck again, presumably to numb it, and suddenly the needle was in. I didn’t

feel a thing.

He asked whether I felt any discomfort, and I managed to say,

“No — because I’ve taken Gabapentin.”

He gave a small, amused “Oh!” behind his mask.

He then injected the iodine solution to highlight and contrast the nerves, followed by the slow-release

corticosteroid through the same needle.

After that he began positioning the needle, “digging around” to find the nerve. He repeatedly stepped

into the next room to check the scanner images, then returned each time to adjust the needle.

After a few moments of this, I felt a very subtle tingling down my arm. At first I wondered whether it was

simply going to sleep, but it felt new.

He asked, “Anything now?”

“Yes — down my arm and into my fingers.”

“Voilà. Bull’s-eye. We’ve hit the spot.”

That was that. He said goodbye and headed out, understandably keen for lunch.

Three nurses helped me up. I swayed once, like the giraffe I am, and then felt steady.

The doctor reminded me that it usually takes more than two weeks to feel the full effect. I already knew

this from my previous infiltrations.

We waited for the paperwork, I signed the forms, and I paid €135.75, some of which will be reimbursed.

Afterwards I felt completely fine — even a slight easing of the cold shoulder — and there was a

pleasant tingling in my right hand.

I’d previously asked my GP for Gabapentin (300 mg twice daily) after my sister found it effective for

facial shingles nerve pain. It also helps me with sinus-related nerve pain that normal painkillers don’t

touch. I gave one to our gardener last night for his numb-arm problem; he felt better this morning.

Dr Paul strikes again.