Friday, August 28, 2009

Why?


The big eat ~ close-up, originally uploaded by Paul Grand.


Made with
Flypaper Textures


Why

doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "Insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough to pay it?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?


What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they "Slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero
outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to say, "See that
chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high
that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the
fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?


Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !


If quizzes are
quizzicals, what are tests?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made
from?

If electricity comes from
electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


why???????????

(arrived in my mailbox!)

Monday, August 10, 2009

out of the blue


lone bather, originally uploaded by Paul Grand.

Its funny how blog stories come to fruition.
I've not written a word for ages, then several ideas come all at once, like those English buses in the rain!

I was innocently taking pictures of underwater textures for Martine, whilst standing in our glacial sea the other day. When this guy on the horizon kept creeping into my shots

Previously my sister emailed me from her holiday in the Tropic's during the monsoon (she was out there trying their new house, out of season) to tell me my other sisters husband had almost died.
He's awoken in the early hours with a big sweat, not feeling at all well, my sister in the UK phoned for an ambulance and he was taken to the local hospital.
She drove home, two hours later he had an enormous heart attack, had to be re-booted on the table and revived from death.
Turned out his heart was full of fatty cholesterol, had to be flushed out, I expect the rat poison they use for blood thinning caused all that bruising that my sister noticed..
He's only around 44 years old and looks a bit like the guy in the image, 6'4" like me, but a 'big ex-rugger player'.

So here we are, a man on a horizon facing his mortality after a bolt from the blue. After all, we die alone..

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